ethereal-black

its not my name!

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:39:23 GMT

There is this guy i always bump into in the student council office because (I think) he is one of the committee members of clubs & societies division.

You see, the editors office is situated at the other end. if i go thru the student lounge, i will reach the editors office first. however, i always go in thru the other door, which i have to go thru other offices before i reach the editors office. i like coming in thru this door because i will always bump into the other student council and their committee members. if i go thru the student lounge, well, i will see the frequent lounges only. boring..

eh, sorry. didnt mean to digress.

ok, the guy i always bump into.

i always thought he is adorable.

whenever i pass by him, or he pass by me, which ever, we smiled. just smiling or sometimes, i courage up a "hi!".

since going to the orientation bash (i went as the senior to bully the juniors, yep) i got into talking to him and found out that he is actually a sweet, fun guy. i got to know his name too.

uuu~ *elated*

so its all nice and fun, whenever i see him i go "hey *insert his name*!!"

today, i found out (from another friend), i keep calling him with the wrong name.

His name is Bob.

I keep calling him Ben.

*smacks head*

damn pai seh (embarrassing) OK!!

and to think that he has yet to correct me.

haiyo!! *hides face*

of glory & galore

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:14:14 GMT

I passed my semester 1, 2008, final exams.

I FREAKING PASSED MY SEMESTER 1, 2008, FINAL EXAMS!

I PASSED WEI!

I DEFINITELY PASSED!!

PASSED!!

WEEEHHOOOOOOOOO~

I was terrified to check the result when it was first released yesterday. Got scolded by a few friends for chickening out every time I went online to check the results. haha I have finally check it.

It is not something I can be proud off, I didnt get the marks I wanted, but alhamdulillah that one subject that I was really afraid I might fail, I passed.. alhamdulillah, thank god

alhamdulillah, without HIM (referring to the big man himself *points heaven*), I dont think I can manage. He has prove his kindness yet again, to me. He never fails to remind us his love, kindness and his existence around us actually, it is us who sometimes, always, forgets HIM.

alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah

You will definitely hear more from me complaining about assignments and editing work! OK, Semester 2, 2008 starts 14th July, here I come! -___-U

Lets have fun and enjoy the rest of the year, lets endure the stress and the work load together! WEEEEE~

BRACE YOURSELVES!

:D

sunflower drops

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:45:35 GMT

I received news that a friend is getting married soon. I'll be receiving her invitation card soon.

*sigh* There goes another friend thats tying the knot.

LOL of coz i am happy for her. Just the fact that friends are getting married one by one and yours truly has never been in a stable relationship. pathetic...

why worry? well, truthfully, i wouldnt careless if this matter come up a few years back (while i am still in school) or last year even, but a recent get together with a close friend got me thinking and now i worry. haha! lame..

this friend has never been bothered about relationship. that, made us both the remaining singles in our circle of friends and we were both quite happy with it. but she recently voiced out her eagerness to finally be in a relationship, to later on settle down. she said "I am ready!"

when i first heard that, i had to press the pause button and hit rewind! :O

a second hearing confirms her seriousness. she said "it is about time to think about it. dont tell me you do not want to get married. we are not getting any younger here.."

ugh

i wouldnt be so bothered if it comes from my other friends; i can usually brush off the comment but this time around, it lingers on till today, because this one particular friend had said it instead. this one friend that has never cared, this one friend that will usually say "gosh, the night is still young!" (she use the phrase as a metaphor for us still being young and shouldnt worry about such things).

what? forgive me for thinking about this, but dont tell me you have never thought of these things before? Life is short, really and time do fly by fast. It is already July now, its going to be 2009 in five months time. Before you realise it, it will be 2010!

At the same time, you have your grandmother nagging your 30+ y/o single cousin and soon-to-be 30 y/o single cousin about getting married and settling down. She will then look at you and say "So, how about you?"

er..

*sigh* no worries here. i know i'll get over this soon, for the time being, it is a thought that i am unable to put off. damn it. grr!!

anyhoos, watch this!

ouch!
aww, they're adorable!

oh on another random note, please please pleaaaaseee god send over some of those yummy older boys over to the university or at least my way. the ones that keep crossing my path are of younger boys. -__-U whyyyyyyy?

ok ok. I should stop already.

This semester break has been really awesome for me. but the sudden line up of activities (because i am involve with the orientation week, I am already in uni one week earlier than my friends) is really, really draining me out!

The castle in the air

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:09:11 GMT

It was on our way to Langkawi that I heard a little boy asked his mother, "Can we walk on clouds?"

He was seated in the seat behind mine. I know the boy was fascinated by the big fluffy (almost yummy) clouds he saw from the airplane window (I was too!). He was excitedly pointing out shapes and exclaiming, entertaining the whole cabin. well, at least for me since I was sitting by myself.

I cant really remember what the mother replied to the boy, but I remember thinking, "Yes, we can. You just got to believe."

Believe really, really hard.

On the way to Langkawi; 30 minutes to landing.

It was some sort of a family holiday, but Dad couldnt come along because he was working (was on his way to, er, Japan I think). Our main purposed was to visit the youngest sister. She is currently studying in a boarding school in Langkawi; MRSM Langkawi (I think its MARA Science Junior College, Langkawi).

A post dedicated to everyone

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:44:21 GMT

I came across this today;

Here is your single's love horoscope
for Sunday, June 8:

Not all relationships are tricky and complex. Some of the simplest bonds are the deepest. Take time today to appreciate the stable people in your life that let you be yourself without judgment.

Taking this opportunity to express my gratitude towards everybody because I dont think I have ever tell you enough..

Words suppress my feelings but I truly appreciate each and everyone of you that had touch my life directly or indirectly (through actions, advices, even blog entries). From the real life friends to the online friends that I've made through LJ/Blogspot/ Arashi online community (you know who you are) that has been there for me without fail through my ups and down, together with me through my roller coaster emotional cycle ride;

THANK YOU

♥ ♥ ♥

of Mraz's I'm Yours, MPPK 2008 and Exams

Thu, 29 May 2008 13:53:35 GMT

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours (Live in Korea)

Best live version of I'm Yours so far, in my opinion. Am loving the clarity of his tone and his melodic little kiss..haha! Credits too, to the guy who plays the Toca (or as Mraz puts it, Mr Toca. LOL). He compliments Mraz's voice so well (or it goes the other way round? haha)

Singers who can sing live with a very _________ (prominent? fill in the blank with appropriate adjective of your choice) stage presence makes watching/hearing live performance worthwhile.

---

I had the chance to attend 2008's Mesyuarat Majlis Perundingan Pelajar Kebangsaan (direct translation would be, National Congress of Student Council Meeting maybe?) today. It is an assembly of student representatives from government and private universities in Malaysia to raise and discuss issues concerning students in the higher education level. It was held at Marriot, Putrajaya, from 9am to 1pm. I was there with three of my uni-mate to represent our university.

I admit that I was a little bit too excited. Partly because of the fact its a national event and it was chaired by Najib (Malaysia's Deputy Prime Minister) and and I felt important! Haha!

Overall, quite a number of issues were able to be raised and discussed, Najib and Khaleed (Minister of Higher Education) did mention that they will look into the matters and hopefully immediate action would be implement. Both ministers were impressed on the level of awareness of the student representatives, which i think is good, because there are speculations saying that today's students are ignorant to state matters.

However I was disappointed that the meeting was conducted almost entirely in Malay (there were one or two student representatives presented their research in English) knowing that there were international student representatives attending the meeting. I guess the small amount of international student attending the meeting made it unnecessary for the meeting to be conducted in English because the majority of the attendees are from government university, anyway. I hope this changes soon tho, at least consider the fact that there are international student representatives in some of the university in Malaysia.

then again, probably its just me. Other people attended the meeting were probably alright with it. oh wells..

I also thought that the meeting ended sooner than it should seeing the fact that Najib were rushing through the meeting because the ministers were in a hurry to go to another meeting (Parliament). please take note that i am aware that the meeting was in a good span of three/four solid hours but it was seemingly short because of najib constantly and quite obviously trying to get the meeting go on faster. get what i mean? The presentation time was fine, it should be maintain 20 minutes per presenter or something like that but I'm sure some of the students attended would agree that the floor should have been open longer for more issues to be discuss.

then again, probably its just me. Since I was excited at first and when it finally ended it wasnt to my own expectation. oh wells..

the meeting was quite an experience for me. I may have my own opinion on some of the elected presenters, i may not agree with all of the issues raised and I may not agree with some of the ways the issues were discussed, but I am glad that (and lol, I am aware now that) such meeting is being held by the government for the students.

At least, if there are no immediate respond from the government, we can always complain (another term for raising an issue) again in the next meeting. If they would stop such meetings because of too many complains from the students, well, a student representative should know where they can find some support *wink*

2008's MPPK representatives

Otherwise, I had amazing company the whole time! :D

Darren, Jason, & Yung Lin

definitely my pre-exam stress reliever

---

Finals are around the corner and one last major assignment is due soon. ugh *pulls hair* :/

more proper updates once holiday starts!

study study study. benkyou ni ikkimashoi~!! *\0/*

p/s: randomly this post functions as a shout out to ryoko293! Jullybeana dear, sorry i didnt reply your text message. just so you know, it was a pleasant surprise! *peluks&ciums*

Robotic Suit Up, Pee & Math

Sat, 10 May 2008 03:39:17 GMT

I dont usually do cross-posting, this is an exception. (similar post can be found here)

Ok, random thoughts that crossed my mind while watching Iron Man yesterday.

*shakes head* these are not spoilers. But you can skip this post if youre that kind who do not like to read anything related to a movie that you want to watch but havent.

1) That part where Tony Stark gets into the newer robot suit after the robot suit was finalised, upgraded and painted. Yes, at that particular part of the movie with all the special effects showing the other robots helping him to suit up, i could here Barney's voice: "ROBOTIC SUIT UP!" (in reference to How I Met Your Mother) you only get this if you watch HIMYM

2) Ok, then the other part where Tony Stark was trying to get out of the suit but facing difficulties, a momentary made up conversation of Tony and Jarvis the computerised butler crossed my mind.

Jarvis: Sir, you got to stay still
Tony: Oh hurry up, I NEED TO PEE!

3) and that part where Jarvis was doing some calculation for Tony and he got a little annoyed and said "I know the math!" So it crossed my mind, if i were to be in the suit, and Jarvis was giving me those calculations, obviously important -

Jarvis: Its down to (add your own weird ass math equation), miss.
Me: oh. *thinks* okayyy, that adds up to 19 or down to 17?
Jarvis: *rolled electronical invisible eyes*

then again, if my math is that bad, i wouldnt be in the suit in the first place!

hehe (:

This blog post would only be relevant to you if you watched the movie. So, for those of you who have not watch the movie, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR LA? get going and watch the movie already! its a movie you do not want to miss.

Who says a good movie cant be enjoyed at a cheaper price? Student card discounts rocks! Yeah baby!

Writer's Block: Hell Hath No Fury

Fri, 02 May 2008 17:41:48 GMT

Miriam, this has nothing to do with your ranting out about having a clean house.

OK, that aside, I'm angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad. Yes, all of them rolled into one marshmallow ball of feelings.

Why? Over a stupid argument about privacy, my own space, my room.

I mean, c'mon, it is my room. It may not be (yes, i agree) the cleanest place on the face of the earth, but its my room, my own space, my little private world, my sanctuary, did i say its my room?

Its mine la, so let it be. let me have it the way it is. isn't it already enough that im leaving by your rules? i don't dirty it, i picked up after myself, i clean whenever i can (sometimes when i feel like it but still, i do the damn chores), i keep it clean, keep it together, i dont mess it up!

so why cant i do whatever i want with my own space? have my own privacy?

why do i have to live up to other people expectation of my own room? ITS MINE! FREAKING GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD? why do people have to judge someone by the looks of their own room? SO WHAT?! i am untidy, i am unorganized, BUT ITS MY ROOM! the only place where I CAN BE untidy AND unorganized! i have to be tidy and organized living in your house, i have to be tidy and organized in school, college, university, at work, marriage!! i have to be tidy and organized when im at other people's place, home, city, country. and i have to be tidy and organized in loads of other crappy people's expectation of being tidy and organized.

SO WHY CANT I BE DAMN UNTIDY AND UNORGANIZED in my own space, MY OWN room!?

doesnt everybody has that? their own space? it doesn't matter if its a room or just that small tiny spot at the back of your mind, its still yours, and you can damn well do whatever you want with it. you can keep it clean, you can turned it inside-out, you can dirty it all you want! thats your right, AND YOU KNOW IT!

im freaking old enough and I AM ENTITLE to my rights.

ITS MY ROOM!

its not like i dunno how to clean up! Its not that there are not enough of those tidy-ness and organized-ness crap you put into MY BRAIN. I know when to behave. I don't do it when im with others la. No, of coz not. i respect other people's intolerance of untidy-ness and unorganized-ness, I FREAKING DO! but its MY ROOM! its not like i can do it if i live with another human being. since im alone, in MY ROOM that you had given me, SO LET ME HAVE IT THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE! which is MESSY!

i am messy. I AM!

THERE. the whole world can judge me now.

shambles & danglings

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 10:58:05 GMT

first of all, if youre, lea26karla please click the cut below. if youre not, please proceed. do not click on the cut if youre not lea26karla . of coz nothing will happen. its just that i trust you not to click the cut if youre not lea26karla . go on, proceed, dont think of the cut anymore.. yeaah... thats it... read the rest of this entry. which is not that much really.. (haha, this should be enough to get lea26karla 's attention)

its been what? a year? two years (is it 3?)
since we first commented each other on LJ?
even though we havent meet in real life (yet?),
but thanks for being my online buddy/arashi fangirling partner
and thanks the wonderful memories from the first hello until today
(and hopefully more to come!)

wishing you all the wishes you wished will come true
with loads of hugs & kisses
♥ ♥ ♥

moving on..

*clears throat* ahem..

i am going to Johannesburg, South Africa tonight!

its really last minute plan. only last week dad decided to book a ticket for me to follow him. it was only on friday/saturday that my ticket was confirm. and im flying out tonight!

technically my flight is tomorrow, because its a 1am, 6th Feb 2008 flight. its a 11 hour flight but here's the best twist, i'll be reaching Joburg (i have to use the slang now, dont i since im going there..hehe) approximately 6am, 6th Feb 2008. its that time factor. i will not bother explaining it coz im bad at it, you just have to figure it out yourself ;) hehe

and its only a short trip. i'll be staying at Protea Hotel Balalaika Sandton for two nights and on the 8th Feb 2008 afternoon, i'll be heading back home already. shucks.. ): but its definitely better than nothing. definitely my getaway before uni starts this 25th feb.

im still having trouble believing its febuary already and uni going to start soon. -__-U it was different for me last year, coz i cant wait for uni to start and i thought the semester break was waaaay too long! but this year!!! im having a ball~ not that i got to do anything interesting, its just the fact of being able to relax and unwind and not do anything.. yes, i appreciate this semester break more compared to the last one. *sigh* oh wells..

oh and yes (: i've packed! hehe. yep, ready and set to go! cant waitttt~~ *bid silent prayer for a safe flight to and back*

see ya peeps *hugs*

p/s: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!
May the rat-a-tat brings you prosperity in every way; love, health and wealth!

Rest in Peace, Heath

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:50:15 GMT

Yep, prolly everyone (read: avid fans) on the net is writing about this. i too, find this shocking and quite hard to believe. as in-respectful as it may sound, some part of me is waiting for an announcement saying it was all a big joke. alas this is not a matter to joke around with.

okay, this may not concern me directly as how it would to his family and close friends, but it is so sad. i have no words. i weeped alone in the comfort of my room. my heart goes out to the little Matilda Rose Ledger, his two year old daughter.

right, imma continue watching 10 Things I Hate About You, and prolly another watch of Casanova.

Heathcliff Andrew Ledger
1979 - 2008

@------

Shopping!! (:

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:36:26 GMT

damn, lame subject.

anyways, how about a retail therapy? anyone?
been craving for that particular brand of handbag?
been dying to lay your hands on that cute pumps?
been wanting to get those latest designed tees?
or you simply been trying to buy stuff from US but seems to face difficulties?
well...
online shopping has never been more easier *wink*

*click on the image or you can go to >> http://broughtwithlove.blogspot.com/

i wasnt asked to do this.
this, this is for the love of shopping!

yeah baby!

and i thought of helping out the cousin-in-law

hehe

cheers!

welcoming the new year

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:36:53 GMT

i have a lot to say but words fail me. so im just going to take this opportunity to thank the people (this includes all of you) who had helped me through year 2007. be it the happy times or even the bad times. thank you for your support, love and care. i wish i could repay everyone of you alas, im not the heiress of the Hilton Hotels or any rich company in the country for that matter.

im in your debt..

and i love you!! hehe

oh no, no new year resolution this year. im just going to make do with last year's and achieve it before the 21st birthday (haha, this sounds like a resolution). *nods* yeap - wish me luck!

jump up high and reach those impossible dreams!

picture by: amanogawa

peeps, lets live life as it is - no worries, just unwind and relax.
enjoy the ride; it may lead you to unexpected journey (:
*insert more positive thinking*

wishing you all the best, and only the best

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

just for the record

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 02:02:17 GMT

im not gone, of coz. im still alive, incase youre wondering
i baked about 500+ muffins for my cousin's wedding (the wedding was great, btw and the new cousin-in-law is love!) - pictures soon
Eid Adha at my anut's place was definitely fun because finally, all the cousins were present - pictures soon
Short family holiday at Sungai Klah, Trolak, Perak was FUN FUN FUN - pictures soon
i havent ~~bought~~ buy the books on my must read list but i bought some other interesting titles at Times Book Warehouse Sale at a good bargain
we finally bought a dvd-player that can play DVD-Rs/CD-Rs those rewritable disc (its much more fun to watch series/movies that i've download with my mom & sisters rather than watching it alone in the comfort of my room..haha..they make great couch potato's company)
i finally, FINALLY:

meet up with the much missed Syukri Shairi (high school junior) after sooooooo long. a lunch-date and catching up session was in place. that boy has a grown!

had a gathering with the high school friends. not all was present, but the ones that came had a good catching up and gossiping session. Thanks Nadhiya for organizing it (:

went out with the besties - pictures soon

i signed up for yoga classes (i cant quite believe myself, haha. its yet to sink in) im gonna try to get fit and loose weight. ohhhh you just wait and see
i would like to thank souzoujo & ryoko293 for the Xmas cards! *HUGS* hope you receive my email!
i hope the other girls (you know who you are) receive my email!
i have a new layout. YES NEW YEAR LAYOUT >> ethereal_black <<

i fell in love *sigh*
im going out soon to meet up with the besties again for a lunch date. Pandington House of Pancakes is high on the list - pictures soon?

Rest in peace, friend

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:35:41 GMT

In memory of a friend
Nur Amalina Aznina
al fatihah

1987 - 2007

@------

im still speechless, shocked. i want to say something, to write something to accompany this picture but i dont think hey-babe-i-wish-you-luck is appropriate right now. she passed away last Wednesday. i dont know much about the details, but Erna told me she showed sign of recovering from leukemia, but...

we were quite close. ive been to her house, she had been to mine. we shared secrets, laughters even tears. she knows about my first highschool crush. she laughed so hard about it coz she thought he wasnt my type. haha but she shifted to another school after form 3 (9th Grade/Sec 3)...then we lost contact. i only found her back on myspace last two years?

the sad part is, i didnt even know about her sickness. i feel bad for not contacting her for so long. so much for myspace and technology. in this case, its not put to good use. now i wish i have some ways of contacting her family..

sigh

i'll just let this post be. with her recent picture i took from her myspace account. she looked vibrant and happy even tho this picture is taken after her chemo treatment. (you know how in the obituary section they put up picture in black and white? well, i want to remember her like that; in color, thank you).

just for the record

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:42:50 GMT

Just when i thought i can start getting hook on some TV shows other than Heroes, i found out after 13 episode, the Black Donnellys was canceled.

wtf? gampang tak? macam bodoh je

*sulk at one corner*

so, friends' ex-bfs are off limits..

*le sigh*

and dad is being annoying. lelaki melayu konservetif & seksis wajib lupus dari era moden

*more sulking*

welcome back

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:47:19 GMT

this may be overdue, but YAY Backstreet Boys is back! haha, yes yes, its revealed, najmi is a fan (:

gawd, i cried a little after watching their latest - Inconsolable - video clip. it felt like a gift from the boys to us, the long-awaited fans. (click italic title to watch video. the embedding is disabled)

FINALLY (after so long!) Howie D has a considerable part in the band's song. the last time he had a considerable part in a song was, hmm.. All i have to give. yep. that man (lol i wanted to use boy, but it felt inappropriate) has potential, great voice but lack of exposure (the right words?). wasted saja..

AJ never, never fails to amuse me especially fashion wise. i always thought he is like the sesat (out of place) one in the band. nonetheless, his voice gives 'rock-ish and husky flavour" to the band's songs.

Believe it or not, if you go thru Brian's pictures, you wouldnt notice much difference. of coz you can see the transformation of a boy to a man, but he has had the same hairstyle and fashion sense since..since the beginning!

Nick? haha, Nick is always either a bit too thin, or a bit too chubby when everyone else in the band is hunky and buffed. i dont see him as a man tho. lol he will always be a boy to me..

Kevin is another member which i feel is lack of exposure (?). one great expose of his great voice was in i still. but oh well, no more Kevin. this is another reason as to why i shed a tear after watching inconsolable. it's incomplete! ):

nonetheless, i think i'll get use to seeing just the four of them from now on. i dont know about other fans, but i do not wish they recruit a new member. it'll be awkward if theres a new member after soooo long. it'll be like having anew mother or father.. er.. -_-

just this for now.

p/s: i dont think i mind if i smell of sweet butter.. haha baking is fun.

youre leaving on the jet plane

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 03:42:41 GMT

(note: can you ignore my grammatical errors? coz i really like to pen (type) this down)

Yesterday saw me bustling about preparing the kenduri doa selamat for the peacekeeper going off to Iraq from our division.

yes it was a big scale event and im please to say it turned out well. however, there were a few last minute minor task, but everyone were so cooperative that everything went on smoothly.

It wasnt really my duty/job to do the rest of the work, because my part was to only find sponsors and preparing the guest list for the kenduri, but by keeping myself busy yesterday, it put off the thought of him leaving.

I dont know if he noticed, but i guess, in a way he does bcoz he didnt leave my side but he did keep a distance so to keep out of my way when im ordering about or bustling with things to be done. And he was helpful too.

*smiles* I guess it was his way of showing me that he was there, and he doesnt like the fact that i was putting him out of my thoughts. LOL, come to think of it, i think he knows me too well to know why im the most busiest yesterday.. *sigh*

he is a national service trainee and was called up to join the peacekeeping team the country is sending to Iraq. the kenduri doa selamat was for him, them; to wish them a safe journey to and back, also while theyre there. I know their job is much more safer than if the country were to send war troops, but i fret for him nonetheless. a country after a war is at such fragile state that anything can happen. even the slightest misinformation can lead to another war. *bid silent prayer* ya Allah, please keep him safe.

dad came to bid his well wishes to the team too. he was really eager to meet dad. but i couldnt introduce them properly as Dad had to leave no sooner than he came. he was a bit disappointed. he kept his way well away from me after that. merajuk...but i hadnt time to attend to his feeling then, only later after the whole event ended.

I finally saw him again when i was about to leave. I was walking down to the car park and he was walking up. I knew then he was walking up to me, but he had this look that says "hey, i'm still sukling you know, dont forget that.." he almost passed me, as if to make me feel more guilty. I had to stop him and make him stand a few steps lower so that i was leveled with him.

"Im sorry I didnt introduce you two properly," I said. "Dad was in a rush, and you know that." Besides, he wasnt presentable at all! I dont know what happened, but when dad came, he was in this odd looking overalls (with Hawaiian flower prints on it!). He told me later that someone spilled something on his shirt, he had to change into something while waiting for his shirt to dry and that (overalls) was the only available thing. Thank god he was in decent clothes again after that.

he made a face, at the stairs, not wanting to forgive me just yet.

I lean a bit forward and kissed him. you know those light, quick kiss like a peak on the lips. "I'm sorry," i said again, showing him i meant it. he smiled just then, came forward and wrapped his arms around me. I returned his hug, not wanting to let go.

"Youre leaving tomorrow," I said with an obvious sad note in my voice. "I dont want you to go."

"You know I have to," was his reply.

"But its dangerous, things can go wrong, you just dont know whats out there. Anything can happen," I continued, not wanting him to go, badly.

"I'll come back with a broken arm then. they'll shorten my course."

I think i didnt realize he was joking, bcoz i was a bit surprised. I looked up to him and asked, "Can you do that?"

"Whats good a soldier is with a broken arm? or leg even."

I think i still wasnt sure he was joking because he had his serious look and i thought he meant it.

"Lets not risk it. I just want you to be back safe, healthy and alive," I said, seriously. "In one piece, please."

He smiled, assuring me things will be fine. "Pray for my safety then," he said. "It wont be long, I'll be back before you know it."

I hate how confident he was, but im proud and glad at the same time. But i wasnt ready to let go just yet, i said, "Cant you just not go? Pretend you went missing or something.."

He looked at me longingly, the way I long for that moment to freeze in time so that i can stay in his arms like that forever. But we both know that none such thing can happen. If you are called up, its an honor to go to serve the country. And i know it meant a lot to him. he was going and I cant stop him. I know it was just a peacekeeping matter, but it felt like he was going to war.

He didnt say anything, so I rest my head back on his shoulder as he tighten his arms around me. It felt more reassuring then, so I know i shouldnt worry so much. I know i should be proud and I know he'll keep his promise; he will come back, safe.

So if you can't reach out to me,
send a sign across the sea
And I'll pick it up,
with an ocean size love
(Leigh Nash - Ocean Size Love)

of coz, someone just had to ruin the moment. The press came with flashing cameras taking pictures. I sensed he was a bit annoyed, but I didnt let go. I hugged him tighter (i think i almost squeezed the life out of him, lol) as one of the cameraman shouted "hey, smile for the camera!"

I remembered cursing because i was thinking how bluntly rude the cameraman was.

Then, i bloody woke up.

such an anti-climax, eh?

I need to stop having this almost vivid dreams of good looking men as boyfriends. seriously. that dream left me so gleeful, I cant stop smiling the whole day *laughs*

He looks like Wentworth Miller btw. I know its merely my mind playing tricks on me - these dreams, but I dont remember thinking of Miller at all, the days before. I dont even watch Prison Break, not even a fan.

if the mind really wants to play tricks on me, i should be dreaming of ancient war of Dalemark from the prehistoric times, when there are powerful mages and witches and there are people who still believes in the power of the Undying. Im on the fourth and last book of Diana Wynne Jones Dalemark Quartet series. Im currently at a cross road. I had always secretly like Moril, but as the book progress, Mitt sounds more appealing. And, now, i secretly developed a new crush on Millard (or Wend as what he is called in the fourth book) *sigh*

on an unrelated note, boys in books are definitely better *grins*

randomness of its kind

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:47:01 GMT

i think theres alot to be said. but nothing goes down well for me right now. words conjured are merely words of pointless sentences. the only one that i can rely on would be; Chris Daughtry's Over You. That song, summed up my words, my feelings just fine. at least the essence of the song summed up what i want to say.

i did saw it coming,
i guess i should have started running earlier, sooner
but, the day i thought i'd never get through,
i got over you

the song makes me smile every time.

another song that says out my current state of feeling would be; Colbie Caillat's Bubbly. Its on repeat, and i love every replay of it. the song just gets better and better. if you have nothing else to do, click HERE to watch her video clip. the embedding is disabled by request, so i cant put it up here. i think i could, if i do some tweaking with the codes, but im just too lazy to figure out how. plus, it'll be the same; you still have to wait for it to load in order to watch the video. hehe

the video gives me some sense of calm every time i watch it. i dunno how to put it in terms of cinematography, so i better not say anything, in case of high expectation and disappointment. haha

`Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place
you make me smile
please stay for a while now
Just take your time where ever you go

plus, i think Colbie Caillat has a pleasant smile and voice. one that you dont mind looking at and listens to everyday.

Over You and Bubbly - such a contras eh? but both songs makes me smile and both songs summed up my feelings.

i bet you can read me through by now (:

what am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just...mmmmmmmm

♥

p/s: since i still dont have any money to buy the books on my must read list for this holiday, i found Dalemark Quartet series in Lina's room. the more i read the series, the more i like it, the mooooore i like Diana Wynne Jones and her writings. Shes my hero in so many levels. i always enjoy her books.

RAWWR!

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:36:38 GMT

heh.. i seriously have no idea what to put as a subject.

anyways, i mention in the previous post about the 'scandalous' November 10th demonstration for clean & fair election. it was really intended to be a peaceful demonstration. but hmph ):

im not elaborating. like i said, i prefer the well informed and experts on such matter to do it.

but one good account of what actually went down on that day by a Malaysian youth/young adult/younger generation/next generation, that everyone should read, CLICK HERE. if youre not into this sort of thing (not to say that i am, haha because im always somewhere in between but never there really. yes, sometimes ignorance is bliss) take it as a good piece to read. i know good is ambiguous, but its GOOD. there, the caps should make a difference. haha

---

not related with the above (yeah, i realised, i should mark a sign of separation for unrelated topics i write in my posts) yesterday was a blast. (: thank you friends (and family ahaha, since Iman tagged along) for the lovely lovely day. definitely a sweet/great escape + guilty pleasure all in one la! watched Stardust again. *grins* i think two top most on my list of why i like Stardust so much, are uber hot Tristan in trench coat and talented Robert De Niro that keeps me coming back. ahha i wont elaborate more, i'll just blabber again on Stardust if i do.

i know everyone has their own point of view, but i was just so glad Abang likes it. at least theres my proof that Stardust is not just a girl movie/chic flick ♥ and no, i do not have any influence on his judgement before or after watching that movie.

and, revisiting of childhood/primary/secondary memories with friends over drinks are perfect yamcha (however you spell it) session.

just for laughs

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:44:08 GMT

note: this conversation youre about to read goes more or less like the actual one. it by memory, so im just going to jot down what i remember and improvise to form sentences that actually make sense to your understanding.. thank you. hehe

involved: Abang, Far, Rose and yours truly
location: Santai Cafe, Seksyen 11, Shah Alam
time: somewhere after 5/6pm?

of coz there were other conversation before this one, but this is the highlight of the day la..

Abang: smoking his lungs out

Far (Rose?): Abang, can you do 'O' shape? (you know the smokes that come out shapes like an 'O'?)

Abang: yeah..but when theres less wind (he still did it, it was less of a 'O' shape, but you can still make out the shape)

Abang: I can even do 'S'

Us: (curious) how?

Abang: OK, im going to do it, but you have to promise me you wont ask me to do it again. its a bit painful

Us: (more curious than ever)

Abang: (i wish a had a camera and videoed it for you to see, his expression was so serious) sucking in his breath and released it with the smoke all coming out and at the same time he pronounced sssssssssssss

so basically it was a bloody trick. yes, we fell for it because we were curious to find out the truth in his claim. it was still funny tho because, for a moment, before he did his trick, we thought it was for real taht he can do an S shape with the smoke. at least i thought it was possible..

Us: Laughs

Abang: (still joking) i can do it with every alphabet.. even exclamation mark!

Abang: exhale with all the smoke and did the same joke with the S except this time he use 'ex-clam-ma-tion-mark'

so there i was, thinking that i could continue in the joke, i did my part, i thought i would spell exclamation mark instead..

Me: Ssssssss (then, i stopped.. i lean a bit towards Far, but still clear for Abang and Rose to listen in..) eh, how do you spell exclamation mark? (at that moment, i seriously have no idea how to)

Far: *LOL* WHAT? YOU THINK EXCLAMATION MARK IS SPELL WITH AN 'S'?

that, friends, was the highlight of the day. Namie's bimbo moment.

this entry is just for laughs. another random for the day. i hope you get what im trying to tell here. im still laughing at the thought of that conversation. it was totally spontaneous and unexpected. even i cant stop LOLing.

if you dont get it, im sorry. its the kind of jokes you have to be there to understand it. hehe, that or im just so bad at retelling jokes/stories..

do i need one to keep you interested?

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:34:32 GMT

as much as i want to pen down/ type out? my thoughts on oh-so-many things that are going on in the country, i.e. the upcoming general election, the 'scandalous' Nov 10 rally for clean & fair election, about that mother who lost custody of her child to her ex-hubby just because the hubby claimed that the child do not recognize the mother (its stupid really), and other rather interesting things highlighted in the newspaper, i will leave that to the elites of the blog society, who are much more informed and expert on those matters.

so in my part of cyberspace, you just have to settle in with my everyday doings and what not in this journal.

yes, the normal stuff that will bore you. heeeee~

OK, you should realise by now that this is another of my random/pointless entry for the day.

i am just irritated that i cant come up with anything interesting to post like a mind-blowing topic/question that make you think, and think and consider my opinion highly and you go on in your real life and talk about it amongst your friends/family/society.

and of coz, there are other matters that irritates me which i couldnt quite sum up what they are really, so i just blame it on not being able to come up with interesting post.

*pulls hair*

anyways, i want need (in random order):

more pocket money. just because its already the holiday doesnt mean i dont need them. at least give me extra cash for me to spend on good books to read through this holiday. really. i miss reading anything aside uni text books ):
in my must read list are:
- Neil Gaiman's Stardust, (highly recommended by clannoire )
- William Goldman's The Princess Bride,
- William Golding's Lord of the Flies,
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince,
- Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, including New Moon and Eclipse, (highly recommended by amanogawa & ryoko293)
- Milan Kundera's The unbearable lightness of being,
- Geraldine McCaughrean's Peterpan in Scarlet,
- and maybe Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude
- and (another) maybe, random selection of Jodi Picoult's
more energy? im so lazy that the chores at home are like burdens.. haiiihhhsss
more creativity juice to "revamp" Monash's gazette
to CLEAN up my room. <--- this is definitely a must
to watch all the movies in my HDD (courtesy of Ezie) including the two old movies i mention in my previous post; The Princess Bride & the Willow
haha AND finally, finally to finish up the long over due malay novel i been putting aside since early this year.
OH AND BAKE MUFFINS/CUPCAKES FOR Abang Ariff, the cousin *wishful* i hope i can earn extra income/pocket money since i have to do 400 of them..
also, wash the car!

lalalala~

please dont let me waste this holiday. please please please!

on a rather sad note, being on holiday doesnt mean i can go out, hangout with the love ones as much as i like. close friends know that for namie, being on a holiday is like a temporary quarantine from the outside world. so much for being a free spirit. so much for being a twenty year old. *big sigh* plans of road trips have to be put out and plans of just lepaking for hours doing nothing have to be put aside too.

nonetheless, i am very muchly looking forward to the 18th December *crosses fingers* this should put off the thought that i am "quarantine"

weehhheeee

lets go back to the old days

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 10:03:59 GMT

I am still in the mode of fangirling over Stardust. Definitely a movie i wouldnt mind watching over and over again and will never get bored with. heee. im trying to convince as many friends of mine to join in this love frenzy over this movie. epun ! cepatlah tengok Stardust! lepas tu kita fangirl sama-sama!

Like any other movies i watched, i didnt read any reviews prior watching Stardust. I like to go into the cinema without expectation or justification because i believe, every movie, like every person, deserves a chance to be known without judgement (: haha

anyways, today, i read Stardust reviews and alot of them refers back to The Princess Bride and Willow, both late 80s production. classic movies, i tell you.

yes yes, im interested to watch both movies. its been a while since i watch any old production. the last one was Breakfast at Tiffany's *fangirls* itu pun because HBO aired it. if not, i dont think i would ever watch the movie. so sad kan? call myself a movie junkie, but my movie selections are limited to mainstream movies. the only time i watched movies from different genre was thru Film Studies classes i had during my first semester. i miss that class, i miss Mr. McKay! lol

Holidays, please come quick. I want to do my over due movie marathon. ):

speaking of holidays, in The Holiday, Cameron Diaz's character, Amanda has one awesome collection of movies! and AND Kate Winslet's character, Iris has awesome collection of books! two things i would like to collect when im all 'grown up' with a respective job and income.

berangan je la kerja aku ni. study nya tidak!

anyways, back to the two movies, i read the comments posted on the torrent link. one of it, imo, is so...!!! it went something like "dont expect anything near LOTR or Pirates choreography and effects". isnt it darn obvious? its stated on both torrents its an 80s production. D U H. okay, maybe the person only state that as a reminder for others. haha but seriously, if anyone watched an old production and at the end of it went "its so boring and stupid and lack of everything modern technology" is well, haha, no prize in guessing my thoughts.

i dont even know why that statement affect me so bad..

btw, Malaysian friends, do you know we have a VCD/DVD rental service online? its eFlix. but theyre currently under construction/revamp (?) due to a bought over. they have a free delivery service, but its limited to the Klang Valley area, i think. they're quite up to date with their collection, all range from English movies to Chinese, Korean, Japanese collections! i think they have a few European movies too but they only have The Princess Bride when i searched. nonetheless, they have quite a number of romance movies *glee with delight* but RM48/65 a month? hmmmmm.. *checks piggy bank* im so broke la.. :/

thats why we have the internet (:

another pointless entry. i know ^^

on a random note. im kinda glad Mandy Moore took up the part as Jamie in A Walk to Remember. just imagine if it was Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera.. or worst Paris Hilton. Even i dont think Jessica Alba or Scarlet Johanson can take up that part. not even Cameron Diaz or even my fav Drew Berrymore, not even Anne Hathaway for that matter. hoho, worst yet, Vanessa Hudgens. no offense to fans of said celebrities. i just think that the role suits Mandy the most.

fineeee im bias because im a big fan of that movie.

oh oh andddd thanks to Far, after watching Casanova, im a fan of Heath Ledger once again. haha not fangirling because im having a slight headache by the time im typing this. but before i go, thank you Far for pointing out that the cute/boyish looking virgin boy in Casanova is indeed Tristan in Stardust. heehehheehheehehehehehe

OK im stopping. really...

/end of pointless entry

p/s: got the link from Nabil..

some people just have so many free time! its cool, tho. it must have taken him so much practice to have such a good coordination! you gotta at least watch the middle part. did you count how many times he showed the middle finger? LOL

What do stars do?

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:30:00 GMT

they SHINE! (:

i'm somewhat awake and sleepy, but not ready to sleep yet. i am left happy, content and giddy after watching Stardust, which in my opinion is one great movie - especially if youre into fairytale/fantasy as much as i am *smiles*

thank you for the recommendation Jullybeana (ryoko293 )

no, this is not a movie review nor a critique. i am just going to blab on why i think this movie is great..

its definitely a must watch for you fairytale/fantasy movie lovers
and yes, it is definitely a love story. so, you love story junkie, this should add up to your list!
its a feel good movie (it makes me feel like dancing..)
and and AND (imo) they have funny+witty yet beautiful script/screen play
they have good moral values (hehe) such as greed kills, justice prevails
you can see Robert De Niro gets in touch with his feminine side! adorable!
lovely soundtrack
awesome effects
wonderful, talented actors! they definitely know how to play their role well and bring their characters to life *thumbs up*
a movie which have a good combination of romance, adventure, fairytale/fantasy and comedy!

these are *points list above* just a few i can think of right now..heee~

oh OH! and because this story highlights all things that i secretly believe in *dances around* now, i should get the book and read it. im sure its gonna be more in detail compared to the movie..

What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

- - -

Tristan: Did you really mean what you said in the caravan?

Yvaine: What I...? But... You were a mouse! You were a mouse... you wanted cheese! You didn't... I asked you to give me a sign!

Tristan: And risk you being too embarrassed to keep saying to me lovely things? [kisses her forehead]

Tristan: You want to know what the Captain really whispered to me that day? [Yvaine nods]

Tristan: He told me that my true love [Yvaine begins to glow]

Tristan: was right in front of my eyes. And he was right. [they kiss]

- - -

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world
(Take That - Rule the World)

*squels*
♥♥♥

p/s: if i am ever a witch or with magical powers, i would like my powers to be in blue! (lol random)

you make me wanna CHA CHA!

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 15:05:17 GMT

Saturday saw me baking, running around the house preparing and panicking over a last minute decision for a hari raya open house by Dad.

I dont mind the last minute thing, its only the cleaning up later part that i dont really fancy. hehe..

thank god it was just a small get together thing for us. Mom & Dad invited their group of friends from Haj. the sisters and I invited a few friends. Dad was all for "its just a small one.. no need to call so many people..next year we do a bigger one OK?"

as much as i wanted to invite everyone, i had to be selective \:

the besties, Lisa & Illie (minus Ina) came..on time! the first ones to arrive. then the old mates from elementary school arrived. unfortunately not the whole gang could make it, only Khairil, Meor & Mysara came since theyre the only ones who are still in town. others are back to uni in other states of the country. Athirah (the netball gang) arrived safe and sound despite getting lost and was stuck in the the traffic for quite awhile. its her first time driving to my house ne, and she was alone! *salutes* was so glad to see her when she was finally at my front gate.

Athirah called Izzati in Melbourne. we talked for a bit and she managed to update me on the recent happenings in her life. i was really happy to hear her cheerful voice since her presence is greatly miss in uni ):

and finally, later in the evening the uni friends arrived - Far, Rose, Rai, Yani, Remy, Sally, Ezie, Farah, Wen, Abang, Haryu, & Amir.

pictures are still everywhere, but for now, this one will do:

Selamat Hari Raya

curik from Ezie

+++

hey you!
i dont like you for who you are, but
i like you for the way you make me feel.
is that OK?

p/s: was helping out at Kak Zamie's today for her open house. i think i ate a bit too much. the stomach is upset..i dont feel so good.. ugh

random

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:49:35 GMT

totally random.

tell me, whats the first thing that came to your mind when you read this:

FAKERS

for no reason. just a random question.

as for me, i definitely thought of the F word. only after a second read, my mind tells me its not the F word.

is it due to my first language being Malay? because in Malay we read one syllable at a time..

f a FA, k e r s KERS

FA-KERS

*grins*

another totally random thing:

my knight in shining armor
This romantic magic knight has slitted midnight black eyes and neck-length, straight, luxurious, gray hair worn in a complex style. He has a slender build. He has stealth powers that are activated by sheer willpower. His outfit is mostly blue and white, and it looks like a fusion of a tuxedo and a biker's outfit.

lmao! ♥